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Volume 39, Issue 1
Volume 39, Issue 1

Jane Carries Baby Jane after Thanatosis

Baby Jane, you are a girl-child-warrior.
If you look at him, his arrows will drop.
Now I know each time his shaft fell away:
shards of stone left inside.
Each time he rolled the tombstone of his body
off of ours, we rose on our Lazurus legs
without weeping.

We will tell this man we were dead before you shot.
The self rose above and waited. We were dead
so you never. You never. You never got in.
We were more powerful than you.
No matter we couldn't get away.
Our vocal cords wouldn't vibrate
for you. Our heart barely beat.
Even our brain, in its brilliance,
kept you out.
Your face is gone.
Never was.

Though our muscles remember
your weight, we are strong, now,
stronger than your heavy ghost.
We are pushing everything you left inside
back out. We can say your name, now, almost
like any other name, but we won't.
Take your name and your empty face
and go.
No more will you open the tomb
of the child I was and enter in.
I will carry her, with thanksgiving,
for the life she died around
every time you tried to take
so she could give this life to me.

Because no one believed
what you didn't know
how to say, Baby Jane,
I didn't, either. Because he has no face,
because no one ever saw
the dying place, I told you he wasn’t real.
I'm sorry, child I was. I am listening, now,
to the way you speak.

About Jessica Melilli-Hand

Dr. Jessica Melilli-Hand, an associate professor of English at the College of Coastal Georgia, is published in CALYX, Hunger Mountain, Painted Bride Quarterly, The Minnesota Review, and elsewhere. She won first place in the Agnes Scott Poetry Competition three times: when judged by Terrance Hayes, Arda Collins, and Martín Espada.

Zone 3 Press, the literary magazine of Austin Peay State University
Volume 39, Issue 1
Volume 39, Issue 1

Jane Carries Baby Jane after Thanatosis

Baby Jane, you are a girl-child-warrior.
If you look at him, his arrows will drop.
Now I know each time his shaft fell away:
shards of stone left inside.
Each time he rolled the tombstone of his body
off of ours, we rose on our Lazurus legs
without weeping.

We will tell this man we were dead before you shot.
The self rose above and waited. We were dead
so you never. You never. You never got in.
We were more powerful than you.
No matter we couldn't get away.
Our vocal cords wouldn't vibrate
for you. Our heart barely beat.
Even our brain, in its brilliance,
kept you out.
Your face is gone.
Never was.

Though our muscles remember
your weight, we are strong, now,
stronger than your heavy ghost.
We are pushing everything you left inside
back out. We can say your name, now, almost
like any other name, but we won't.
Take your name and your empty face
and go.
No more will you open the tomb
of the child I was and enter in.
I will carry her, with thanksgiving,
for the life she died around
every time you tried to take
so she could give this life to me.

Because no one believed
what you didn't know
how to say, Baby Jane,
I didn't, either. Because he has no face,
because no one ever saw
the dying place, I told you he wasn’t real.
I'm sorry, child I was. I am listening, now,
to the way you speak.
Volume 39, Issue 1
Volume 39, Issue 1

Jane Carries Baby Jane after Thanatosis

Baby Jane, you are a girl-child-warrior.
If you look at him, his arrows will drop.
Now I know each time his shaft fell away:
shards of stone left inside.
Each time he rolled the tombstone of his body
off of ours, we rose on our Lazurus legs
without weeping.

We will tell this man we were dead before you shot.
The self rose above and waited. We were dead
so you never. You never. You never got in.
We were more powerful than you.
No matter we couldn't get away.
Our vocal cords wouldn't vibrate
for you. Our heart barely beat.
Even our brain, in its brilliance,
kept you out.
Your face is gone.
Never was.

Though our muscles remember
your weight, we are strong, now,
stronger than your heavy ghost.
We are pushing everything you left inside
back out. We can say your name, now, almost
like any other name, but we won't.
Take your name and your empty face
and go.
No more will you open the tomb
of the child I was and enter in.
I will carry her, with thanksgiving,
for the life she died around
every time you tried to take
so she could give this life to me.

Because no one believed
what you didn't know
how to say, Baby Jane,
I didn't, either. Because he has no face,
because no one ever saw
the dying place, I told you he wasn’t real.
I'm sorry, child I was. I am listening, now,
to the way you speak.

About Jessica Melilli-Hand

Dr. Jessica Melilli-Hand, an associate professor of English at the College of Coastal Georgia, is published in CALYX, Hunger Mountain, Painted Bride Quarterly, The Minnesota Review, and elsewhere. She won first place in the Agnes Scott Poetry Competition three times: when judged by Terrance Hayes, Arda Collins, and Martín Espada.