i don’t know where to begin. it was a jungle out there. i went looking 
for it but it was nowhere to be found. it was still raining. the sky
appeared gray but you could tell somewhere far beneath it was blue 
we’d never seen. that’s where the color comes from i said to leaves exploding 
with yellows and green. but that wasn’t it & the succulents turned over & roared 
in laughter, bared their purple teeth at me. went to see the bougainvillea that once 
made me cry—sat on the bench the hawk circles. not this time, she said. nothing 
for you today. so i kept walking started touching everything trying to feel 
started a grocery list for dinner & deleted—too early for this—but the ground 
started turning to ground beef & soon everything would be boiling in soup. 
nothing was happening. a pomegranate fell from a branch alone. a teapot 
swung from another. the couple walking their dog swallowed the whole 
sidewalk up & i jumped out of the way. drake was still on. redemption on his
mind. it was child’s play. i knew what to do. changed it to bach, changed it 
to edith piaf—picked up the pace. learned italian dyed my hair & started 
running. ran til it burned til i saw new colors & heard the piano far far away 
ran harder to catch it. ran til the sky was blue blue blue i didn’t know my way 
back home & said the poem must be here. i saw the fig tree growing before 
my eyes—each swollen dark globe floating up to rejoin its body from the depths 
of concrete—plucked my mind from my body laid it down beside them
said to find me again when it’s grown something new & stood there waiting
to be everywhere else but here—reborn as a new shade of red in the sky, as rain 
swallowing the streets at night— i lie down beside them dig my limbs deep 
in the mud, open my mouth & wait.