You will not be cowed by grief 
not this morning: dolphins breach 
blue waters carry five white sailboats 
near a distant               arid island 
& you are waiting for the first boat 
to disappear: your father sailed 
waters 
              uncharted 
              unknown 
              bravely 
              unafraid 
              angel-infested 
                                      perhaps 
what spirits guided him 
to his next port? Your grandmother: who once told you 
                                                                                                  I left home once. 
                                                                                                 Never again. 
                          Your grandfather: he held you after your birth  
                            & said                                                                      Finally, I know 
                                                                                                            happiness. 
Wait. 
Look. 
              Is that your father 
                                                        floating 
on his back 
                         blue-green waves carrying him? 
He arrives now as a pebble as green 
                                                            as the eyes of the man you wish you could marry. 
Lift the pebble, girl, 
                                   from the sand. 
Carry it in your pocket. 
                                            It will rest 
                                            with a weight 
                                             you cannot measure.